An interesting topic with your teens
Years ago, I once heard a conversation from a couple. The content was that when their 17-year-old daughter was in a relationship, her mother was so mad and she said that they shouldn’t meet so frequently, and at that time they should focus on studying at school. But her husband said to her: ” I think they should meet up, I don’t want them to meet secretly as we did 20 years ago.” It was so tiring! So his wife finally agreed.
As an adult, we can prepare our teens for the most anticipated things in their life, especially when they fall in love. But we rarely have topics about love, romance and marriage. More often, we are not willing to have their relationship moving too fast if they have, or that it may affect their study somehow.
In fact, we should be discussing more the meaning of love in front of our teens and how to prepare to develop healthy, caring romantic relationships and what is a healthy relationship for them. This is because they need to be guided the values of love, how to truly love and respect others, and how to be loved by others.
Discuss what is a healthy relationship for teens
Young people may confuse love with infatuation, lust or obsession. For example, they may think that they fall in love with someone because they can’t stop missing them, they are attracted by a certain trait of the other person or make them feel special. Sometimes young people may confuse love with the increase in self-esteem they felt when someone becomes romantically interested in them.
Explore with your teen what love is and the many forms of love. What are romantic love and lasting love? What is the magic component of a love relationship? What did it feel like? If they haven’t been in love, how do they think they will know when they are? Explain what you mean when you say that you are in love with someone.
Discuss how to find the right person
Do look for someone you feel easy to talk to and comfortable with, being with her/him you can be yourself and listen to how she/he feels and try to be understanding. Sometimes you can have different opinions on something and know that it’s okay.
In a relationship, the happiness of two people should be 1 plus 1 greater than 2. But if this relationship makes you feel that the result is less than 2, you should then consider whether there is room for improvement.
Talk about how to make the relationship healthier
Share some experience and advice on intimate relationships among teens. Many of them may not know whether their relationship is healthy or stuck somewhere, especially when they encounter problems in the relationship. The problem can be solved in some way I think, but it is best to talk about it together and try to fix it together. Do not let the sun go down while you’re still angry and don’t try to avoid or skip it! Over time, it will become easier and working through problems is going to be part of any good relationship.
Do be yourself in a relationship
It’s natural to share interests with the person you’re dating, but you also need to keep developing an identity outside of that person, too. Keep thinking about what you like and what you need. Have an interest that’s just yours. It will improve your self-esteem, and being confident in yourself makes you more likely to be confident in your relationship.
Keep doing your own hobbies, hang out with your friends as you normally do before you had a date, meet some new friends. So long as you’re not doing anything wrong to ruin the relationship, then socialize with other people. If you’re not the sociable type of person, then at least talk to people you’re comfortable with. Also, allow your partner to do the same.
Talk to teens about their relationships and how to maintain healthy and happy relationships
Healthy relationships also greatly benefit from each other. It is okay to set boundaries in a relationship. While you can make some compromises, but you will feel tired if you keep doing that all the time. So effective communication to jointly solve problems, manage emotions and be generous is still needed when problems are encountered.
For teenagers, they might need the help of their parents or someone when they are stuck in a relationship, and parents are not to substitute for their decision, but to make some suggestions and help, especially when they need it.