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BDSM: Some Starter Advice

Let’s figure out why do some people like BDSM

What is BDSM and why do some people like BDSM?

The term BDSM is first recorded in a Usenet post from 1991, and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations:

B/D : Bondage/discipline.Bondage refers to someone being physically restrained. Discipline refers to a set of rules and punishment, usually enforced by the dominant partner onto the submissive.


D/S :Dominance/submission.Dom/Sub play is when one person, the sub (or bottom) permits the dom (or top) to essentially be in charge. This may be an agreement you make for one night of play or it may be a 24/7 arrangement.


S/M :Sadism/masochism.ubmission.Sadism is the enjoyment of doling out pain. Masochism is the enjoyment of receiving pain. If you like both? Well, that’s what we call a sadomasochist.


BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others.

This is a very basic description of what the BDSM subcategories mean. And remember, every aspect of these types of play is consensual and talked about beforehand.

A beginner’s guide to BDSM !

BDSM doesn’t actually have to involve sex. It often does and the majority of conversations about it revolve around roles in sex, but BDSM doesn’t need to be sexually erotic all the time. The power and control of telling someone what to do can actually manifest in a variety of non-sexual ways.

  • Self-expression

One of the best parts of BDSM is being able to express yourself in the way you see fit. You do not need to use particularly expensive equipment! Just knowing what you want and what you don’t is a great confidence builder, and there is nothing sexier than a confident person.

Even if you choose to keep secrets or not engage in BDSM activities with other people, knowing more about your psyche and body information will give you immense power. No matter what others say, it is completely normal to enjoy things.

  • Talk about what will happen in advance

In BDSM, this is called negotiation, and it is a requirement for any type of play. Here, you can declare your adaptability and limits. Because these activities may make us vulnerable to physical or emotional harm, so it is essential to clarify our boundaries.

  • Give and get consent in the whole process

Undoubtedly, consent is the most important aspect of BDSM. Because of the intensity of BDSM play and the real psychological and physical risks involved in many types of play, you absolutely need to ensure that every act is voluntary.

  • There is always a safe word

This is a word that signals to your partner that you want to stop. It needs to be different from “no” because depending on the type of play, begging or refusal may be part of the communication.

Many people choose the stoplight system to incorporate check-in. Red means stop, yellow means proceed cautiously, and green means forward.

In addition to having a verbal safety word, if you want to join a gimmick or breathing game, it is also important to have a non-verbal safety word. Maybe it’s a signal or high five or something.

  • End play with aftercare

Other aspects such as Dominance/submission and Sadism/masochism can be intense.

This may produce physical and psychological reactions. The physiological response is manifested as sympathetic nerve excitement and increased secretion of adrenal cortex hormones; psychological response is emotional response and self-defense response.

So the care after the play is over is very important. Relax with your partner after the experience, which can achieve a kind of relief, either by hugging, cleaning up, or just reflecting on the scene. Everyone’s aftercare is different and should be discussed between partners before the scene begins.

BDSM culture is about knowing yourself

BDSM can improve your life by teaching you to advocate for your needs and communicate more clearly.

If you are looking for some toys or gear to help you get started, check out our bondage and fetish series. We have everything you need, whether you are a beginner or an expert, in our online Lengogo store, you will definitely find what you are looking for!


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